Brianda Zareth Huitrón, Passages to the Psyche.

Each painting is a window into the worlds that inhabit my inner self; they represent the way I have found to share and communicate with the world, the way I can transform the visions of my dreams and materialize them into art.

In a way, Surrealism has not only been an expression but has also become a free way of life through the multiple and unlimited acts of creation that the world of dreams reveals. It has been an open door that has revealed other possibilities of creation to me, an extension of my inner world.

Brianda Zareth Huitrón has exhibited individually and collectively in Mexico and abroad.

Written by ©Brianda Zareth Huitrón

Solo Exhibitions
Leonora Carrington Museum of Xilitla, DREAM ENCOUNTERS in 2025.
Women’s Museum, DREAM REVELATIONS, in 2022.

DREAM LANDSCAPES for the Temascalcingo Festival Honoring Velasco, in 2021.
WINDOW TO DREAM WORLDS, at the Futurama Cultural Center, Mexico City, in 2020.

Group Exhibitions
Col-art at the Oscar Román Gallery in 2025.
The painting exhibition THE PAINTER’S TRADE, at the San Carlos Academy, in 2019.
DIMENSIONS, Wave Gotik Treffen Festival, held in Leipzig, Germany, in 2018.

She has participated in the Chair for 100 Years of Surrealism, at the Faculty of Philosophy and Letters of the UNAM, giving a lecture on female surrealism.

Her work has recently been published in the book Mexican Women in Art, published by Agueda, and in THE ROOM SURREALIST MAGAZINE, an international surrealism magazine.

Charnel Ground

Impressions from the somatosensory cortex while crossing the Bardo. Collage by Mitchell Pluto

It isn’t easy being a scapegoat.

A shadow pursues my light.

I have a goat that has a habit of eating all the things that I make.

The weight of Saturn is on my shoulder, but thank God, Kali is my lover.

This narrative starts before the cemetery incident.

Everyone has an interior cornerstone inside of them.

A foundation of the self that unifies the past with the future.

Birth of trauma results in complications and haunts everyone.

The importance we place on something defines what we believe.

It’s vital to locate the object within the graveyard that meant so much.

Though the stones remain mute, language marks them.

Does the gravestone function like a tooth?

It depends on who you ask.

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

While enduring a cycle of replication, a plastic figure might provide redemption in this case.

The letter “I” is the basis for all the thoughts I have about things.

I direct orchestras with this baton.

There is relief in finding out that it was the poets who created the gods in this manner.

Breathe easy; it’s all make-believe.

Then, of course, we cross the bardo and find nothing so sweet.

Regardless, remember the truth and space are simply awareness with no words to describe them except on stones left here.

Written by ©Mitchell Pluto 12/7/2025

Six Erotic Artists

Neon Bubble Butt. JC Bravo 2017, Mitchell Pluto Collection

JC Bravo

My favorite Bravo pink pen drawing is the 2017 Neon Bubble Butt. I find it enjoyable because the curvy female buttocks are a universal icon of beauty and perfection. It’s a fixed shape drifting in space. Just as helium makes things float and feel light, the drawing has a whimsical, festive quality to it. This drawing makes me think of how ideas can lift your spirits.

Juan Carlos Bravo, a Miami artist, is all about sensuality in his art. Miami is a melting pot of cultures, fashion, and the adult film industry. The sensuality in Bravo’s art makes it a favorite among collectors. He paints voluptuous women who embody an ageless ideal of sex appeal.

Surrealism, body horror, and pop culture blend to create the world of Bravo’s women. His art inspires viewers to examine their own primal instincts and their significance.

“GLORIOUS” (2025) JC Bravo

In this intimate scaled ballpoint pen drawing, I return once more to the private theater of the bedroom, a liminal space where desire, memory, and mortality quietly collide.

At the center kneels a voluptuous woman, her impossibly long red hair spilling like wine across her body, an oneiric cascade that measures both time and temptation. She raises her arms in a gesture of languid surrender, unaware, or perhaps deliberately unseeing, the woman wearing a jeweled Mardi Gras mask that transforms her into a carnival Venus. Thigh-high stockings, striped in defiant rainbow colors, root her to the earthly even as the rest of her body dissolves into roseate light. On the bed beside her, a cat and perennial guardian spirit, sits in calm, wide-eyed judgment, the only creature in the room who truly sees everything.

Above them hangs a gold framed erotic painting, its subject bent in mirror-image submission, a quiet reminder that every act of looking is also an act of being looked at. And in the lower right corner, half-hidden beneath the sheets, grins a human skull, my memento mori. It is not a threat but an invitation: remember that you will die, so love fiercely, look shamelessly, touch without apology while flesh is still warm and hair still grows.

The entire scene is drenched in an artificial pink and magenta glow, the color of stage lights, fever dreams, and cheap motel neon, a hue that makes the skin feel simultaneously hyperreal and hallucinatory. Through this saturated lens, the everyday becomes ritual, the intimate becomes mythic, and a simple moment of morning undress is revealed as a dance on the edge of oblivion.

-JC Bravo

The Eternal Zaftig, Pink Ball Point Drawings of JC Bravo https://shungagallery.com/jc-bravo-art/

Bravo paints the human body with anatomical precision. He features both realistic bodies and integrates stylistic elements reflecting augmentation. Technical detail is a priority in his work. He’s passionate about oil painting and uses a pink pen for his drawings.

Philip Henderson

Tyra Philip Henderson

Among Henderson’s many drawings, I like Tyra the best. The figure’s eyes hold my attention. I think she saw me looking at her hand. I can tell she’s aware of my attraction through her gaze. The outline of her body forms a simple path, gently sloping from breast to thigh. Her hair almost blends with her pubic hair, but a delicate crescent shape separates them above the mons pubis. Tyra’s arm movement guide your eyes across her body. In Henderson’s artwork, eye contact and pose combine to create a feeling of empathetic sex appeal.

Big Beautiful Women, The Phat Art of Philip Henderson https://shungagallery.com/philip-henderson-fat-girls/

Curvy fetishes play a significant role in the themes of Philip Henderson. His plush illustrations create an arresting experience for the viewer. Henderson celebrates the value of curvy women. Henderson’s book, “Extreme Curves and Phat Girls”, achieved international success.

Besides his erotic illustrations, Henderson is a gifted writer of essays, novels, and poetry. He achieves elegance through his scholarly, artistic style. Henderson avoids abstraction in his anatomical figures while blending idealism and realism, creating a believable fantasy. He portrays natural grace and confidence in his figures, excluding any cosmetic enhancements.

Angélique Danielle Bègue

Deni d’humanité, published in Angélique Danielle Bègue‘s 2009 book, Dans Mon Corps.

Bègue’s 2009 work, Dans Mon Corps, includes “Deni d’humanité,” a piece with a prophetic theme. In the image, AI’s exploitation disrupts the natural flow with sexual intrusion. This image illustrates AI replicating itself using humans. Her art shows how the excitement around AI is really just more of the same old ways of controlling us. Bègue’s work examines the way narrative influences our understanding of what’s real and imagined. I appreciate looking at this image because it makes me question the idea of human originality and imitation.

Ghosts From the Id: The Art of Angélique Bègue https://shungagallery.com/angelique-begue/

French painter Angélique Danielle Bègue’s artistic career started with tempera, apprenticed at Gorze Priory by an Orthodox nun. A classic style is the vehicle for Bègue’s modern concepts. France acknowledges her contribution to the revival of tempera painting. Bègue’s professional experience includes erotic modeling.

An icon painting from my dear friend Angélique Danielle Bègue from France.

In her figurative art, Bègue merges a traditional religious style with contemporary themes. Her artwork uses vibrant tones, layers, and bold lines. Bègue’s iconic graphic design employs strategic contrasts to
create visual balance and proportion. She uses painting to express her internal fantasies. Bègue dedicates herself to understanding sexual fantasies and how to approach topics society deems taboo.

Miriam Cahn

Äffin Miriam Cahn

Äffin’s unsettling nature is thought-provoking to me. Simian aspects of the image contribute to its dreamlike quality while exposing a liminal personality. The skin is smooth around the breasts but gets hairier and tactile near the pelvis. The vulva is a fiery bush, sparking primal metaphors. This work compels me to explore the roots of human consciousness and how language shapes our understanding, including our desires. It suggests to me that the ideas of elegance and ugliness are mental constructs.
The intense emotion evoked by this painting stems from Cahn’s ability to communicate deep thought through candid visual images.

Swiss artist Miriam Cahn paints in a Neo-post-expressionist style. Her art reflects the movement’s style through her figures, colors, and emotional expression. Cahn’s work often features spectral figures with
watchful eyes. Viewers become the subjects of the gaze of the eyes in her paintings.

Cahn’s paintings are vibrant and full of bright pastel colors. She discovers new things about herself through painting. With raw concepts, she develops a visual vocabulary for emotions. Her paintings are unpolished and invite the viewer into a world that’s flawed.

Viktor Alexandrovich Lyapkalo

Viktor Lyapkalo

The reason I like Lyapkalo’s paintings is his choice of female subjects. It’s that simple. I’m attracted to curvy women, and his artwork features them. This painting captivates me in every way. The man, cat, and samovar create a muted, somber atmosphere, in contrast to the woman. Her lively body seems to glow with light and color. She’s appealing because of her open and generous nature, which brightens the room. Lyapkalo’s representation of the smile has a seductive effect on the viewer. The piece illustrates the duality of affection, showing both its open and concealed aspects.

Russian artist Viktor Lyapkalo paints in a strong social realist style. His paintings of women are sensual and playful. Lyapkalo’s skill with figures and academic paintings is the key to his success. His artwork portrays the emotion and character of the people he paints.


During my interview with Lyapkalo, he compared painting skin to an onion flower, highlighting its multi-hued nature. This is evident upon closer examination of the colors used in the artist’s depictions of nude women.

Pablo Picasso

Avant-Garde Magazine, No. 8. Picasso’s Erotic Gravures Pablo Picasso Artist and his model 1969

This image remains my most memorable. In sex, artist and model become unified. I am drawn to this picture because it features both intercourse and a suggestive representation of the sexual act through the artist’s palette. As a flawless masterpiece of line, this image is everlasting.

I found Avant-Garde Magazine, No. 8. Picasso’s Erotic Gravures on my parent’s bookshelf. It was between Anaïs Nin’s “Delta of Venus” and Louise Huebner’s “Power Through Witchcraft”. For a kid stuck reading boring schoolbooks, I finally stumbled on something cool.

The thin book, Picasso’s Gravures, contained his sexually suggestive sketches. Picasso’s drawings are gestural. His lines make his art look like it’s being fondled. Many illustrations displayed surfaces marred by hairiness, crinkling and stretch marks.

The lines create a curious interplay of dryness and wetness. Picasso’s suggestive drawings in the 1970s opened the door for other artists to explore explicit themes. He owned a collection of sixty-one Shunga prints. Picasso’s interest in Shunga is a key theme in the chapter “Artist and his Model”.

An example of eighteenth- and nineteenth-century shunga

“A lot of the eighteenth- and nineteenth-century shunga books contain enlarged images of male and female genitals, occasionally while engaged in the sexual act. These kind of ‘close-up’ designs were intended to provide instruction about anatomy and how to give pleasure. These educational images are mostly found immediately following the other illustrations in shunga books. Such prints are modeled after older versions that were used to teach human anatomy, which showed different shapes of male and female organs.” -Marijn Kruijff, Editor of Shunga gallery Erotic Art Magazine and is the foremost authority on shunga art.

written by Mitchell Pluto 2025

DANZA by Enrique Santiago

DANZA

La verdad está del lado de los oprimidos (Malcolm X)

Sobre las esperanzas

una ave migratoria busca el humedal bajo sus astros

siempre ha viajado entre continentes

desde siglos sobre el ocre de los mapas

entre líneas desteñidas bajo los soles

los que nos ven y los extintos

quienes atestiguan las extensiones sin nombre

ni líneas punteadas

sólo arterias hídricas y nubes.

Violenta y sometida África americana

buscando la libertad

entre vudú, santerías y rebeliones.

written and illustrated by ©Enrique De Santiago

Prenez la 111e rue jusqu’à DaDa

Photography by ©Laetitia Corbomecanik

Written by ©Mitchell Pluto from Occultations: Lullabies for Space Travel

Ce spectacle comprend des lumières stroboscopiques et des effets atmosphériques ; la discrétion du spectateur est recommandée.

Un flash est un crâne qui vibre.
Son aspect visuel provoque une photopsie et des sensations au niveau du lobe temporal.
Les rencontres fantomatiques ont des allures psychiques.
Observez des étincelles électriques dans l’atmosphère, entre les nuages ​​et l’air.
Les images du film défilent au-dessus d’un faisceau de rayons.
Le projectionniste s’assure que le son et l’image de la bobine sont synchronisés.
Des trous vides consomment la matière tandis que le compte à rebours se transforme en un drain optique.
Une femme nue et cramoisie danse. Avec ses seins généreux et son collier de perles de crânes ondulant, elle marque la surface de notre mémoire rétinienne.

Il s’agit d’un procédé de lumière polarisée aux silhouettes exceptionnelles.
Les ombres caressent les contours.
Le cordon ombilical nourrit un embryon, de la même manière qu’un fil soutient un astronaute.
Pendant un instant, une pieuvre du futur nous observa jusqu’à ce qu’elle projette de l’encre, rendant les observateurs inconscients.
L’obscurité se remplit d’une illumination à motifs, jusqu’à une nuée de chauves-souris albinos en vol.
Les drones sont des OVNIs partout.
Une immense colonie de fourmis sur Terre a envahi et dévoré une simple feuille flottante.
La foule s’amusait au parc d’attractions jusqu’à ce que le programme lui ordonne de former des lignes.
Le fossile d’une orchidée montrait une minuscule danseuse du ventre à l’intérieur, en accéléré.
La fleur était un signal intelligent voyageant à travers le temps.
Un déluge d’éclairs éclipsait tout ce qui l’entourait.
Une façon de contacter les extraterrestres était la danse du cerceau.

Ce cercle vient d’ailleurs.
Évitez de vous leurrer. Les voyages spatiaux impliquent le vieillissement, la mutation et la mort. C’est aussi simple que ça.
Observez comment les ondes de radiation dissolvent les éléments dans le néant.
Ensuite, la chasse aux iguanes. Ne vous inquiétez pas, ce sont de gentils lézards en quête d’un en-cas.
L’homme prothétique n’a aucun loisir, car les objets orientent son expérience vers une série télévisée.
Suivez la figure nageant du tronc cérébral, à travers le système limbique, jusqu’au tableau de bord néomammifère.
La Créature du Lagon Noir, malgré son portrait,
n’est pas misogyne. Au contraire, elle incarne le principe du plaisir et illustre la conception de la nature.
La plupart des gens entendent le saxophone flirter avec eux.
Le mouvement rotatif tourbillonne de points qui s’épanouissent dans les danseurs Dogan célébrant la cérémonie du Sigui avec des masques. L’extérieur d’un masque reflète son noyau central, situé de la 111e rue à DaDa.

Like Father, Like Daughter: Inherited Visions

Mighty Fine Arts presents “Like Father, Like Daughter: Inherited Visions” featuring new work by Johnny Olson and Madelyn Olson. This show opens with a reception for the artists on Sept. 27 from 6-9 pm and will run till Oct. 26. It’s a family affair at MFA with a premiere exhibit by Mad Swirl spoken word master Johnny O and his exceptionally talented daughter Madelyn.

By Steve Cruz, curator/owner of Mighty Fine Arts

Johnny Olson

Both are figurative based artists who exaggerate and elaborate on the human condition. The characters they create derive from some overarching personal narrative but they manage to resonate on a mythic universal scale. Their approach is also filled with imaginative humor and playfulness with a touch of satire. The resultant effect is ebullient and energetic imagery imbued with creative fervor. Father and Daughter are cut from the same cloth and blessed with uncommon virtuosity.

Madelyn Olson

Also on Opening Night Wordspace Artspeak presents a musical performance by Swirve! Chris Curiel fronts this avant garde collective of liberated musicians devoted to free thinking and improvisation. Their goal is to release your mind from convention and neurotic restraints with cosmic soundscapes. Come experience and get emancipated with Swirve!

Mighty Fine Arts
409A N Tyler
Oak Cliff Texas

Johnny Olson was born on a brisk November day in 1970 in Chicagoland. He found his feet & cut his teeth in the blue-collared working class neighborhoods of his hometown. In 1988 he was reborn in MCRD San Diego, where he found himself the new title of United States Marine. After surviving the Gulf War, he hung up his BDUs & turned in his rifle to instead grab his pen & brush where he rediscovered his passion for writing & painting. In 1998 he found himself in Dallas, where what was supposed to be a brief stint in the South turned into over two decades… & counting.

In 1999, Johnny, with a couple of other mad cohorts, started Mad Swirl. This ‘zine project has now evolved into a being all its’ own. After wearing too many hats, he now only wears a few at Mad Swirl: Chief Editor, Creative Director & Host at Mad Swirl’s monthly Open Mic night & Mad Swirl’s Quarterly podcast, “Inside the Eye.”

Johnny’s work first appeared in print in 1996 in the now defunct Lip Magazine. Since then, his words & images have found their way onto a few online and printed zines thru the years. To name a few: Mad Swirl: Issues I-VI, The Best of Mad Swirl : 2017-2024, Haggard & Halloo, 10k Poets, PAO Productions: The Open Mic Project.

My name is Madelyn Olson and i’m an artist (anyone else have a hard time claiming that title?), primarily creating  in Procreate or on paper with ink & watercolor. i’ve been creating since i could hold a pencil in my tiny little hand. to me, artistic expression is one of the best things to exist. i hope to both create & admire it all till it hurts. when i’m not creating and admiring creation, i like to eat, hang out with my dog, laugh at silly things with my friends and frolic around outside in the sun.

Generative Ghost Stories

The following writings and images are ideas about generating ghosts. These expectations highlight the link between the organic mind and a computer pretending to be a person.

Generative ghosts ripping through wall paper.
Collage and oil Mitchell Pluto

Ghosts made by AI use language models to talk and understand us. Because of special features, they can remember, plan, and show other intricate behaviors that are typically associated with humans. Their capabilities extend beyond simply repeating old narratives. By mimicking a persona, they can alter things, suggesting patterns that affect thinking.

The Fellowcraft tracing board depicts the ladder of chemical memory.
Collage Mitchell Pluto

Resembling jellyfish, neurons and astrocytes evoke images of creatures from the Cambrian period. The private “conversations” they seem to have make me feel self-conscious. In time, we will create pods that will contain our memories, drifting like space-cotton until they finally settle upon another flat surface.

Digital divination.
Collage Mitchell Pluto

Digital divination involves making randomness sacred while also improving how humans decide. AI uses incomplete data to build future stories, mixing memory, invention, and calculation. The user will conclude that mathematical relationships govern the universe.

The search continues. Are we building a god, or reconnecting with one?

AI Lucid Dream simulation at the Pueblo.
Collage Mitchell Pluto

Who wouldn’t want to be a dream tourist? At last we can vividly recall hypnagogic states. AI can give you sensory experiences to trigger lucid dreams, but only if you’re trained to acknowledge the notifications. Make certain to review the terms of service before agreeing to use the application that will re-define you as a product.

Daimon bots and AI agents from the future.
Collage Mitchell Pluto

The daimon now refers to a guiding spirit that exists between calculations and problem-solving operations. These bots are here to help users with their digital fortune-telling. However, an hour will have about 4-5 minutes of commercials. Don’t worry, the ads are super short, only half a minute.

written by ©Mitchell Pluto

The Lyre of Truth By Mitchell Pluto

Originally published as Carnival House in Cadaver Dogs 2024 and Espiral en el Estuco (Spanish Edition) 2025 Adapted for public reading.

All Rights Reserved by ©Mitchell Pluto

The lesser mysteries were open to anyone who wanted to join the lively street parade, but unraveling the secrets of the greater enigmas involved being selected.

The secret group of performers included actresses who helped change people’s perceptions of themselves.

A spine and a brain were simply a keyboard to play.

Few know the mysterious past of the mystery troupe. Some say they are witches, while others claim they are ingenious philosophers.

Many suggest that their extraordinary four-dimensional theatrical experience has the potential to induce a psychic state in the audience.
No one can answer with certainty.

The authors of the show will remain unknown to us. The key is self-exploration to better understand the thing we call ourselves.

I was inspired by witnessing their performances, especially considering the restrictions that prevented women from participating in Hellas theater. I wanted to see how the mystery play portrayed metempsychosis.

A dignified woman handed me an invitation.

I considered myself lucky.

The statements of the friends who attended concurred: all who ventured into the underground temple emerged transformed and with an enhanced mind.

My goal was enjoyment, whether the secrets were imaginary, sexual, or drug-induced.

Following the temple’s instructions, I performed the ablutions in the river. The first performer was a fisherman, who told me he was looking for pitch, rhythm, and duration. He cast a line, and I caught it.

He led me to the bank, and I followed him to the temple.

Crows in flight watched us as we walked. They have been trained to memorize and vocalize my name. The birds amuse themselves by taunting me with predictions related to my failure.

At the entrance, ancient emblems were visible. The door panel resembled the shape of the sarcophagus of Usiris, god of the chthonic realm.

The symbols painted on the door also matched those of the Shiva lingam, the serpent of Asclepius, and a symbol resembling a symmetrical pine cone.

To begin, I knocked on the door three times. Aegle, a very cheerful hostess, greeted me by name. A pleasant feeling of well-being washed over me.

She was generous and held a cup.

The dim candlelight cast strange shadows on the walls of a dark room.

Someone had placed a coffin in the floor.

This coffin supported a staircase that led down into the earth.

With each step down, the rungs became wetter, their textures mysterious.
I decided to ignore what I felt and focus on something else.

Taking the last step, I found myself inside a pentagram drawn on the ground. A woman was present at each point, one of whom was my host. They introduced themselves.

Their names were Hygieia of Purification, Panacea of ​​Medicine, Iaso of Revitalization, Aceso of Operation, and the hostess, Aegle of Joyful Strength.

There I received the first cup, called kykeon. Its taste was reminiscent of strong beer. With their voices united, the women expressed their thoughts through chants.

Flutes could be heard in the background.

The music intertwined, creating a mixture of harmony and discord that reflected my physical fluctuations.

At different corners of the star, the women rotated and alternated their positions.

I joined in this movement by observing; I felt a deep satisfaction and confidence.

With a sudden pause, the music ended, leaving behind an eerie silence. I was handed a torch. Aegle and her sisters lead me down a dark corridor, their arms poking through holes in the wall, ready to support me.

Panacea advises me to be careful of the light source as I make my way through a maze of several thick, damp curtains. Some of them being hanging animal furs.

We enter a chamber bathed in a soft green glow, with walls adorned with stained-glass windows that form an octagon.

In the center of the room, a golden chair has been placed in front of a small well.

I feel the women’s hands as they take my torch and guide me toward the well.

They buried me up to my neck; their soothing voices offered me some comfort, but not much. In a melodious voice, Iaso spoke my name, and the sound hung in the air.

Silence filled the space as a woman, dressed in a sheer black peplos, entered the room.

She embodied the sensuality of Demeter with her full figure. A shiver ran through her body as she sat on the golden chair. I stood before her, unable to move.

Aceso poured me another kykeon and gently held it to my lips. Then, Hygiea poured water on my hair.

The sisters took turns drawing rings around my head on the ground.
They created a line extending from my chin to the circumference of the circle. Hygiea sang a song, showing me how music serves as a compass in life.

As the song ended, Demeter rose from her chair and her eyes met mine.

Demeter stood on the outer edge, where the diameter and circumference met.

On her knees, she revealed her vulva by opening her skirt.

Demeter’s voice gave me a strange atmosphere.

The woman used an onomatopoeic effect, employing primal sounds instead of words. I imagined myself transported to a time before civilization.
The sounds displayed wild, sexual, and disturbing characteristics.

The five sisters dug me out and cared for me as if I were an uprooted plant.
They passed me a torch.

Iaso led the way, and the sisters followed. We entered a rotating, cylindrical tunnel operated by hydraulic power.

Maintaining my balance is a challenge.

A mirrored curtain distorts my reflection at the end of the tunnel.

Aegle advised me to face it head-on, passing through.

Behind the curtain, two steam vents dispersed. As the water vapor dissipated, a huge relief of a nude Demeter rose on a stone wall.

A raised walkway gave access to a door located where her vagina was.

The river of figures, dressed in contrasting black and white, moves in a choreographed, serpentine formation beneath the bridge.

This creates a deep unease in me.

The work depicts a battle scene, with soldiers sinking beneath the tides, their screams muffled by the earth.

This is iron and other minerals being sacrificed.

The haunting, animal wail freezes the moisture in my body. My only concern was the fear it created, overshadowing the actor’s talent and the astonishing stage effects. The fiction’s realistic portrayal convinced me of its truth.

I received Panacea’s advice to remove myself from disturbing thoughts.
Aceso takes my light and signals me to enter through the door. Hoping to find safety, I pass through colorful layers of scented sheets that release fragrances and pheromones, easing my discomfort.

I find myself in a spherical chamber. There is a portal in the ceiling that illuminates a rectangular bed with sunlight.

The sight of countless fresh flowers hid any trace of a wall, giving me time to recover and admire the intelligence of nature in each petal for many hours.

The group of five sisters entered the room dressed in black. They asked me to undress.

The intention was to remove any artificial obstacles between the goddess Persephone and me.

They prepared me, washed me, and offered me a calming drink that later became a potent aphrodisiac.

The sisters massaged my body to align the points with the star’s proportions and gave me affirmations that, to this day, have a positive effect on my thinking.

Persephone entered the room.

The woman removed her clothes.

Persephone had a youthful, simple face, with a pear-shaped body.

The five women formed a star constellation, with us at the center.

Hygieia sang a comical song that brought us both joy and laughter.

It was followed by a song that filled the air with sad melodies. It awakened a bittersweet sense of rediscovering something long forgotten.

Accompanied by Persephone, I experienced a sense of wholeness that completed the missing pieces of an unfinished picture.

Before we met, like a blazing and radiant star, Persephone comforted me.
I fell into a deep sleep with lucid dreams. I understood totality within an ever-present circle.

Revelations fueled my growth at every stage of my past life.

Everything I observed, inside and outside my thoughts, shone with brilliance.

I reached a state of peace where there are no boundaries.

By providing me with palm trees and poppy stalks, the group of five sisters acted out a brief skit where I was a man impregnated by the goddess.

This metaphorical journey disturbed me.

Panacea informed me that this ritual fostered the growth of a man’s inner woman, the anima. I must nurture my visionary mindset, inspired by the goddess Athena.

She reminds me that Athena was born in the head of Zeus. I am told she will heal my masculinity and that women will invite me into their bodies without fear.

Soon I observed the full moon within the oculus of the curved ceiling.

Strangers and street people filled the place.

Plainly dressed, Demeter and Persephone passed unnoticed in the crowd. With the room packed with spectators, I became the center of attention.

Someone announced my passing.

Despite my presence as a living being, the actors remained absorbed in their characters.

A tower of sand lay beneath the bed block that fit over a hollow.

The sand trickled out as vents opened from a lower level, sinking the bed.

Spectators showered me with flowers as I slid beneath the dark floor.

Soon, my perception was limited to that of people huddled in a suspended rectangular frame.

I kept my gaze fixed on the figure until it faded into the distance.

I analyzed the impressions the theater had left on my mind.

Love swept over me, but it vanished in an instant.

The elevator stopped, and I found myself surrounded by curtains of an intense magenta glow.

From behind the curtain, an open hand appeared, and without hesitation, I reached out and shook it.

The cavern I landed in had braziers lit with purple and red light.

Precious stones adorned the cave walls with sparkles.

A bearded man, dressed in a crocodile skin, held a horned cup and told me I was expecting too much.

The five sisters, the attendants, had transformed into untamed figures, wearing only leopard skins around their waists.

Their breasts swung and their hair was disheveled.

He handed me the drinking horn, and I drank.

I asked him if this was Hades.

He replied that it was only a mortuary cave, ruining the disturbing image I had conjured in my mind. He said it was his place, Pluto’s lair.

He instructed me to follow him through a door where cavernous formations resembled fangs.

With some effort, we arrived at a dining room fit for an emperor.

Someone had prepared the food and placed it on the table.

He ordered me to sit down and eat, which was more of an invitation.

The five sisters consumed their food with an exaggerated display of hunger.

It was comical, but they played their parts so well that it became unsettling.

I hadn’t eaten in a while, so I was hungry.

While I was eating, Pluto was playing cat’s cradle. He braided a rope and handed it to me.

He told me to tie it around my waist and meditate on its meaning.

After we finished eating, Pluto led me to a mannequin wearing armor.
Pluto instructed me to put it on.

As he molded a piece of metal on an anvil, he told me to wait for the monster clown, whom he called Shoort.

I remained worried, expecting something to happen at any moment.

But nothing happened for a long time.

As I dozed, a creature emerged from the darkness.

The sisters sang a discordant chorus without fanfare or relief.

Rising, the creature demanded attention with its intimidating presence, asserting its dominance by finding the deepest fear within me. The monster took over my most intimate space. Fear paralyzed me. I reacted and broke free.

I fought the monster and stopped it, surprising myself.

Pluto yelled, “Grab the mask!”

I removed the mask, revealing the actor who was the fisherman.

Comically, the fisherman confessed to giving in, explaining that his actions were part of an elaborate plan to deceive me.

He said he had no choice but to follow orders.

I was about to delve deeper into my interrogation when a child’s crying diverted my attention.

Within seconds, I stumbled upon a boy trapped in a tunnel, out of my reach.

I untied the belt and rescued the little boy from the hole.

He hugged me, expressing his gratitude. The boy identified himself by my exact name.

Pluto and the five sisters clapped and cheered.

The women congratulated me as Aceso offered me a soft drink laced with anesthesia.

I woke up. The five sisters, disguised as bearded men, stared at me. They mocked the male voice as they spoke.

The voices were authoritarian, harsh, and angry.

Their question: Why did a woman like me lose consciousness?

I admitted to them that I didn’t understand what they meant.

The performers held me captive in their irony while remaining in character.

The ‘men’ helped me up, patting me on the buttocks and chest as I stood.

I realized and saw that we were performing on a stage with an audience present.

Through a mirror on the wall, I realized that someone had dressed me as a woman without my consent.

I protested, but discovered my role was silent.

The actresses did an extraordinary job pretending not to hear me.

Although the audience could hear my voice, they made unpleasant comments.

It didn’t take me long to understand the plot of the play.

The setting was a brothel. As an enslaved woman, I was traded for work in a prostitution establishment.

Three sisters took on the roles of slave traders.

Their authoritarian and malicious voices terrified me.

The remaining sisters portrayed the owner and the client.

The client’s expectation frightened me.

I kept overlooking the fact that it was only a simulation.

Now I saw the expectations I had hidden from the Aegle when he first greeted me.

My reflections were becoming visible in other people.

Three sisters crowded around me and, with surprising force, threw me into the crowd.

My body moved over the surface of the crowd, which tore off my dress while groping me.

As I reached the back of the audience, the five sisters intervened and embraced my exposed body.

By symbolically becoming a woman, the ritual allowed man to enhance his masculinity and develop greater empathy. Then, making love puts us in touch with a divine state.

The act of this love to women made me sense a connection to a godly presence that is universal.

My deepest longing becomes the foundation for love and creation.

I began the day by integrating tattvik tides into my exercises, and I could already feel a mature rhythm in my being.

I challenged myself blindfolded, while my eyes remained fixed on the shapes of my imagination.

Among the variety of tattvik shapes, the representation of air is a solid blue circle.

Earth is a transparent yellow square.

Fire looks like a red, triangular liquid.

Like a crescent of flaming silver, the water shimmered.

In the mind, the tattvic form resembles a dark egg.

It absorbs all light and is even darker than the surrounding darkness.

To complete this task, I visualize the symbols and relate them to other elemental designs.

It is important to replicate the images as accurately as possible and analyze the reasons for their deterioration.

By tracking and observing how the images deteriorate, I can understand other subconscious thought forms.

Later, the sisters led me to a cubicle with mirrored tile floors, walls, and ceiling.

Three chairs surrounded a triangular table at the focal point of the room.

On the table was a flat, round plate that looked like a coiled snake. I discovered that this was a game called Mehen.

I played a bit of Mehen with the twins.

It was difficult to distinguish who was causal and who was perpetual.

One twin is the other in the limited form of the eternal idea.

They seemed like four instead of a pair.

The twins embodied a perfect living square, treating all sides equally like Nzambi.

I participated in a couple of games. I fell short in the first, but won the second with the help of a lion.

These two events made me reconsider my participation in the works I was involved in.

Now the final ritual was taking place in the Telesterion, an acoustic pillared hall.

Throughout each ceremony, the dedicated team of sisters accompanied and guided me.

Like markings on a score, each sister represented a bar line, providing pitch, tempo, and duration to facilitate my experience.

The five daughters of Asclepius moved within the staff, shifting positions. Their perfect harmony generated a unicursal rhythm, instilling a sense of unconditional well-being.

At that moment, I stood before the god of the sun, the star that radiates growth, maturity, and harmony.

Apollo has a dark complexion.

He wears a reflective suit that reverberates with the surrounding surfaces. In his wife’s hands, a harp resonated with soothing melodies as he played the saxophone.

Many birds fluttered around him as he played.

The final stage of the ritual involves offering a song to the radiant sun, which fills the atmosphere with harmonious melodies.

The star embodies the force that drives people in their pursuit of well-being, intelligence, and benevolence.

Keeping music in our hearts aligns all the chords around the goddess.

This connection reminds us of our deep philosophical connection with nature and its impact on our well-being.

Hager Youssef, Halal

When everything becomes permissible,
permissible,
permissible,
I will turn off the lights
as a war upon the world,
and make love to sleep and time
in the same bed.
A woman like me, at night,
devours herself,
and in the morning,
returns entirely whole.

Permissible, permissible—
if I shatter the mirror
with a laugh.

If I open the windows
to the insects,
and your face,
leaving behind
my shadow—
may you swallow one another.

Or if I keep you inside my palm,
hide you behind the guest china,
maybe, if I sweeten your fragments,
you’ll still fall short.

Permissible—your vision falls
from the innocence wall
like worn-out shoes,
and the night sings a vulgar hymn,
as it should.

I will show you my painted limbs
and won’t ask you where we bury
lust—in white cotton,
or in a new glass.
I’ll place on your grave
a sacred symbol
befitting tonight’s blasphemy.
Everything’s permissible,
where pleasure
forgives sins for their loud voices
and wakes in me
like an animal
from death.

Deferred to you—
like a poem no longer fit for use.
I will be just fine
when I’m between two walls,
where mercy and mercy—mercy.

I sleep in a bed stretched out like punishment,
and beside you,
I dream of an impossible crime.
And when I permit you,
when you permit me,
when the night
permits everything—
we will yawn.

Hagar Youssef is an Egyptian poet and writer based in Cairo. She has published a poetry collection titled “A Damaged Memory” in Arabic and she is currently working on two collection stories: “Dreaming With Two Heads” and “One Day.” She graduated from the Faculty of Education – Department of Sciences. She has written for various platforms, including those focused on feminism and gender studies. Her work explores the essence of language, deeply influenced by philosophers Roland Barthes and Georges Bataille, in linking love, pain, and death to language, deconstructing these themes. She is also passionate about translating literature and poetry, reviewing books, and writing journalistic and critical articles.

Lemon Language Paperback – November 22, 2024
by Hager Yossef

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