When everything becomes permissible,
permissible,
permissible,
I will turn off the lights
as a war upon the world,
and make love to sleep and time
in the same bed.
A woman like me, at night,
devours herself,
and in the morning,
returns entirely whole.
Permissible, permissible—
if I shatter the mirror
with a laugh.
If I open the windows
to the insects,
and your face,
leaving behind
my shadow—
may you swallow one another.
Or if I keep you inside my palm,
hide you behind the guest china,
maybe, if I sweeten your fragments,
you’ll still fall short.
Permissible—your vision falls
from the innocence wall
like worn-out shoes,
and the night sings a vulgar hymn,
as it should.
I will show you my painted limbs
and won’t ask you where we bury
lust—in white cotton,
or in a new glass.
I’ll place on your grave
a sacred symbol
befitting tonight’s blasphemy.
Everything’s permissible,
where pleasure
forgives sins for their loud voices
and wakes in me
like an animal
from death.
Deferred to you—
like a poem no longer fit for use.
I will be just fine
when I’m between two walls,
where mercy and mercy—mercy.
I sleep in a bed stretched out like punishment,
and beside you,
I dream of an impossible crime.
And when I permit you,
when you permit me,
when the night
permits everything—
we will yawn.
Hagar Youssef is an Egyptian poet and writer based in Cairo. She has published a poetry collection titled “A Damaged Memory” in Arabic and she is currently working on two collection stories: “Dreaming With Two Heads” and “One Day.” She graduated from the Faculty of Education – Department of Sciences. She has written for various platforms, including those focused on feminism and gender studies. Her work explores the essence of language, deeply influenced by philosophers Roland Barthes and Georges Bataille, in linking love, pain, and death to language, deconstructing these themes. She is also passionate about translating literature and poetry, reviewing books, and writing journalistic and critical articles.
Lemon Language Paperback – November 22, 2024
by Hager Yossef
Mitchell Pluto 